Thursday, April 20, 2017

My Face is My Fortune Cookie

When Vice President (really - just check his jacket) Mike Pence paid a visit to the DMZ Scenic Overlook, he arrived while the wait staff was still setting up for the Early Bird Special, so he decided to wander outside (even though this was contraindicated by the people assigned to shoo him away from landmines, snipers, and unaccompanied woman who might swoon over his snow-capped pate and musky cloud of Hai Karate).

Being a natural tough guy, VP Pence manfully crossed his arms, hunched his shoulders so his epaulets made little McDonalds-like arches, and immediately picked a staring contest with the Orient:

“I thought it was important that we went outside,” he said. “I thought it was important that people on the other side of the DMZ see our resolve in my face.”

NORTH KOREA: Oh, hey, you got a little...Yeah, on your face - little lower...No, it's still there...Corner of your mouth...It's like a little smear of resolve, or a blob of staunchness or something...Look, just use your napkin...

5 comments:

heydave said...

How does one phonetically type a screaming Laugh? Just asking for a friend.

Li'l Innocent said...

One thing you have to concede about all the Trumplets, including Trump himself, but possibly excluding Melania, is that they are serenely and consistently unaware of how they look to others. Bannon with his Lost Weekend growth of dried lichen... Kushner parading around in that flak waistcoat and dimpling away ... Spicer yelling at reporters ... Stephen Miller doing his Roy Cohn Plays Dracula number ... and now this.

It's like the whole administration was cartooned by Jay Ward or Chuck Jones.

Hank said...

Or Charles Addams.

And Li'l, "Stephen Miller doing his Roy Cohn Plays Dracula number" was completely brilliant.

Professor Fate said...

A look that says come on all you single Korean ladies. Do your worst

Scott said...

"Try to dine with me. I dare ya."